In this video, Einzelgänger explains why the need for approval and external validation penalizes authenticity.
Video by Einzelgänger
Key Takeaways
If there’s anything that holds us back from being authentic, it’s when we design our lives with the purpose of appeasing others.
In the end, we aren’t the ones who decide what our “masters” think about us. And when they, despite our efforts, don’t like us anymore, our self-worth is destroyed.
Moreover, by seeking validation we lead lives that are not our own.
When we are sensitive to peer pressure, we may engage in activities that we, in reality, don’t really like.
This may be listening to certain music, using substances, and even supporting certain political or religious views, just so our environment approves of us.
Sure, by doing this we become part of the herd, but we also aren’t being authentic, because we hide who we truly are.
If we learn self-validation, we show the world that we have worth.
- We begin to trust in ourselves and our judgments.
- We discover that we don’t need other people to decide whether or not we have value.
- We also become capable of giving genuine approval to others; not based on groupthink and consensus, but based on our own hearts and minds.
- We can say no when everyone says yes; not because we want to be special, or rebellious, but simply because we stay true to ourselves.
- We can allow ourselves to feel hurt, without the need to prove the validity of our suffering to others.
- We can walk away and mean it because we know that we don’t need them to be whole.
“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don't let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form.”