If social media is not motivating you, inspiring you, challenging you to be better, then it's time to reflect on why you even have it.
Video by BetterThanYesterday
Key Takeaways
The use of social media has skyrocketed in the last decade. We are spending more and more time on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter. Whenever we have some free time, we check our news feed, to see if something new has happened.
Whether we’d like to admit it or not, it’s changing why and how we do certain things; and especially how we look at them.
Too much use of social media has been linked to higher levels of loneliness and depression. And we know that an entire new generation is growing up with lower self-esteem than all previous generations.
Interestingly enough, people who browse social media more often than others, seem to suffer the most.
Let's look at why this is happening.
One thing that social media does is that it shows us fake lives of others. When you scroll through Instagram or Facebook feed, what do you see?
Everyone you know is always on exotic vacations, they have amazing dinner parties with friends, and they are in perfect relationships. And you? You are just sitting there, living your boring life, while everyone is always out there enjoying themselves.
However this is far from the truth. The only thing that is shared through social networks are the positive aspects of our lives.
When you’re going through difficult times you don’t really want people to know that you’re struggling. Most people are not going to share publicly that they are feeling sad or depressed. So it’s natural to only share the best moments of our day.
What happens is that we only see the highlights of those people, but we think that their life is constantly this way. They don’t show us behind the scenes, because that’s not as exciting. But I assure you, they have a lot more problems than you might think.
- Here’s an an example I went out with a friend of mine for a cup of coffee. And the only thing we talked about was her relationship problem. She and her boyfriend have been fighting a lot over the smallest things. She said she’ll probably break up with him, since they can’t stand each other anymore.
- But guess what happened later that day? She posted a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend, basically saying how he was the love of her life and how amazing their life together was. The photo got tons of likes and comments, basically saying how perfect they were for each other.
- This behavior is toxic. Like millions of other people she is trying to portray how great her life is, while simultaneously being depressed.
- This is what social media does. It makes people put a filter on their lives. What my friend is trying to portray to others, isn’t the same as what is really going on. If you didn’t know what was happening behind the scenes and you saw her Instagram post, you would probably think, “Wow, look how great her life is. Mine is nothing like that, I wish I could have a relationship like hers.”
And this is exactly where low self esteem comes from. You might wonder if there is something wrong with you, because your life doesn’t look that way. Everyone who posts on social networks seems to have their life figured out, while you don’t know even know in which direction you’re going.
But most people don’t have anything figured out, even if they are making it seem that way. You just have to remember that behind the scenes, most people live regular boring lives, so there’s no need to feel discouraged.
Think about how you use social media.
You might think that I hate social media. But really I don’t. However I urge you to think about how you spend your time on it. Social media is a tool, and like all other tools it depends on how you use it.
You can find loads of inspiration or information, which will motivate you or add value to your life. It’s through Youtube, a social platform, that you found this video after all.
But you don’t want to get sucked in and spend tons of your time on it, especially since it’s designed to be highly addictive. The average user now spends more than 2 hours a day across all social networks.
This is quite alarming, because when you think about it, that’s a lot of time. We are not enjoying and living our life, but instead we’re mindlessly consuming irrelevant content.
How to use social media more efficiently.
Since you probably don’t want to completely quit social media and become a hermit, let’s take a look at how to use the platforms more efficiently.
1. Unfollow Useless Friends
One thing you should do is unfriend useless friends. Many people have hundreds of friends across all platforms. But are they really meaningful friendships? Of course not.
- An average person has 1-3 close friends. The rest are superficial friendships.
- If you don’t want to unfriend people you can still unfollow them, and become more selective about who you follow. Like that guy you spoke to once, who just posts pictures of his cats every single day. Unfollowed.
- This way when you check your news feed it’s not full of clutter and irrelevant information.
2. Don't Be Afraid of Missing Out
Don’t be afraid of missing out. If something really important happens, someone will probably tell you about it. Ironically when you’re on your phone and social media all day, you don’t realize that what you’re actually missing out on is real life.
3. Remove Apps or Block Notifications
Nowadays we take our phones everywhere with us. And a lot of us have this habit of constantly checking our phone for notifications. Every time we are waiting in line, or are just bored, we pull out our phone and mindlessly check social media. Mainly out of habit.
The solution here is to remove those apps from your phone or block all the notifications. This way we’re not just a click away from being pulled in to social media rabbit hole. We know that once we start we just have to check every single post. So not having the app, there is no real temptation to check your phone mindlessly.
Yes, you could still go to instagram.com or facebook.com website if you really wanted to. But there is this additional barrier of resistance that you have to overcome. This time it’s not just one click away and you won’t check it just out of habit, but it’s going to be a conscious decision.
4. Put more though in how you spend free time.
What we really need to do is put more thought in how we spend our free time. If we don’t have anything to do at any given moment, then these addictive apps will always be an appealing option.
Fill this free time with something of more quality. Preferably with something that will actually benefit you.
Look at how much time you’re spending on social media every day. Don’t be one of those people who never look up from their phone or computer. Real life is going on around you. So be present.
You don’t want to spend your time in virtual reality with people that you don’t even know, that just post fake social updates. It’s ok to be bored and just let your mind wander sometimes. But it’s even better to live your life in a way that excites you.
- I still use social media myself, however I have restricted it to once per day. And because I have removed all the useless friends, I’m done checking it in 10 minutes.. This way I don’t miss out on anything and I don’t waste my time constantly checking my news feed, waiting for someone to post something.
If social media is not motivating you, inspiring you, challenging you to be better, then it’s time to reflect on why you even have it.