10 ways to live our life from the writings of Marcus Aurelius.
Animated Video Summary by Philosophers for Life
Key Takeaways
"Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one."
Marcus Aurelius was a truly very remarkable individual. He is considered as the last of the Five Good Emperors who genuinely cared for his people. He was also a student of Stoicism. Known as a philosopher king, he constructed a series of autobiographical writings, now known as the Meditations.
The Meditations is regarded as one of the greatest works of philosophy which is why in this video we will be talking about 10 ways lives our life according to the teachings of Marcus Aurelius.
10 Ways to Live Your Life Better
1. Be Grateful
"To the gods I am indebted for having good grandfathers, good parents, a good sister, good teachers, good associates, good kinsmen and friends, nearly everything good."
The first book of Meditations is a thank you to all of the people Marcus Aurelius felt he owed something to. There is much to be taken from his first book. Marcus Aurelius is very honest and humble about how he learned to develop his values and ethics and displays much gratitude to those who helped him to become himself.
We too can replicate this by keeping a gratitude journal. Keeping a gratitude journal is a simple process. Every day, you should pick three to five things that you’re thankful for and write it. So if you had a rough day at work, focus on coming home to your family, or your pet, or simply that you’re grateful for being alive.
Finding time to write in your gratitude journal can be difficult at first because it feels like another thing on your never ending to-do list, but after you get into the routine it becomes second nature.
- Some of the benefits of gratitude journaling include lower stress levels, a greater sense of calm and a whole new level of clarity. You’ll learn more about yourself in the process and gain a fresh perspective that allows you to recognize blessings in disguise.
As you continue the practice, you’ll be able to focus your time and energy according to the things that truly make you the happiest version of yourself.
2. Show Empathy and take care of your life
"When people injure you, ask yourself what good or harm they thought would come of it. If you understand that, you'll feel sympathy rather than outrage or anger. Your sense of good and evil may be the same as theirs, or near it, in which case you have to excuse them. Or your sense of good and evil may differ from theirs. In which case they're misguided and deserve your compassion. Is that so hard?"
The second book in the Meditations series by Marcus Aurelius is rooted in the idea that we should forgive others for their flaws and faults – because we, too, are flawed.
The theme of Book Two comes down to one human capacity – empathy. As young children, our family and other role models are responsible for teaching us to be empathetic but there are some people who never take the lesson seriously, and yet there are others who forget the lesson as we grow older and our lives become busier.
No matter your situation, everyone has been guilty at least once in their life of not being empathic in a situation that called for it. This means we all have room to grow in this area of our lives. The degree to which you are able to empathize with another person is directly related to your ability to empathize with yourself.
3. Be Mindful
"Nothing has such power to broaden the mind as the ability to investigate systematically and truly all that comes under thy observation in life."
In Book Three, Marcus Aurelius reminds himself, as well as the reader, to be mindful of the small details. Being mindful also means not being overly concerned with what other people are doing or saying.
Instead, be aware of what you say and do and live in such a way that you wouldn’t be ashamed if other people were to discover things about you. Do everything with happiness and sincerity.
The practice of mindfulness means being aware of where we are and what we’re doing without becoming overwhelmed by what’s happening in any moment.
- The easiest way to learn to do this is to start by setting aside time each day to practice mindfulness. You just need some time and a quiet space. The goal is to pay a close attention to what’s happening around you and not make any judgments. When you discover yourself making a judgment about something – an odor, someone’s voice, even yourself – notice the judgment then dismiss it from your mind.
The mind is easily carried away in thought. Learning to be mindful means acknowledging the thought then letting it go, allowing your mind to return to the moment.
4. Practice Virtuousness
"Remember this — that there is a proper dignity and proportion to be observed in the performance of every act of life."
In Book IV Aurelius tells us that we can always find solitude in our own minds. If our minds are serene, we will find peace and happiness. As for how others view us, we have little control. But virtue is still virtue even if it isn’t acknowledged.
Remember, our lives are ephemeral, one day we live, the next we are dead. So act virtuous, use your time well, and be cheerful. Virtues are moral standards, and they are the best standards we have. If you can achieve moral excellence, then you will be honest, respectful, brave, forgiving, kind, and much more.
Virtues are positive traits, so those people that have reached moral excellence are focused on doing what is right. Therefore, you should strive to always be virtuous, be happy, and use your time well.
However, how can we be virtuous? Our parents are ultimately responsible for teaching us about virtues when we’re young, and hopefully, we will have learned virtuousness by watching them.
After a certain point, you have to take responsibility for your own life and attitudes. Eventually you will have to become aware of the fact that you have to take your virtuousness into your own hands.
If you’re not sure what you can just start practicing virtues, and then find a role model to look up to. When you face a situation where you are unsure, you’ll be thinking about what your role model would have done or said. This will help direct your actions.
5. Willingly Contribute
"Some people, when they do someone a favour, are always looking for a chance to call it in. And some aren't, but they're still aware of it — still regard it as a debt. But others don't even do that. They're like a vine that produces grapes without looking for anything in return..."
The fifth book of Aurelius’ meditations focuses on willingly getting up in the mornings, and wanting to do good work.
This good work is contributing to society in some way. When you perform good deeds for people, then you shouldn’t be asking for payment even in the form of gratitude. If you are doing good, then you should be content with the work that you have done.
There are times where people want to commit to helping society, but they end up falling short or failing to do what they said that they would do. Often, we struggle to find time between being parents, working, starting a business, or just running a household. Our lives tend to be a mass of busy schedules pressing against each other.
Even with the business, you should be able to find some time to willingly give something back to society. Contribution does not necessarily means giving money. We often don’t contribute, because we don’t have enough money to donate.
- There are ways to donate that don’t involve money. You can donate your time to helping out a group of people. You can donate items that you don’t use anymore, whether it’s clothes or household appliances. You can also donate your time and effort. You can volunteer at places all over your city, most likely.
Stoics are focused on creating the best society they can. When they wake up, their thoughts and focus are on how they will be able to help the people around them.
6. Revenge is Not Necessary
"The best revenge is not to be like your enemy."
In Aurelius’ sixth book of Meditations, he wants his readers to turn away from revenge.
Revenge is about anger, power, and hurt. The actions typically only create more revenge. This means that instead of perpetuating the cycle, we need to stop and try to find a better way to live a fulfilling life.
Revenge is the impulse to get even when someone does you wrong. It’s natural to feel angry, to say “I’m not gonna let that get away.” However, revenge reduces you to your worst self, puts you on the same level with those spiteful people we claim to abhor.
Studies have shown that revenge increases stress and impairs health and immunity. Sure, if someone insults you, you have the impulse to insult him back. But to thrive personally, we must resist this predictable lust for revenge, and seek to right wrongs more positively.
You may have thoughts of revenge that seem fantastic in your head, but just because it feels like an instinct doesn’t mean that you should act on these thoughts. Accepting that they are an instinct will help you move forward. This doesn’t mean that you are a pushover; you’re just refusing to act in a tediously destructive way which is not peaceful.
Next time when you feel vengeful, always remember this saying from Confucious,
"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."
7. Have Patience
"Convince them not to. If you can. And if not, remember: the capacity for patience was given us for a reason."
This seventh installment of Meditations consists of Aurelius’ discussion of tolerance and patience.
We can imagine that the job of emperor was not an easy one. It would have had enormous responsibilities and despite his absolute power, he still had to deal constantly with his advisors, with his family, and his life guards, the Senates and and his magistrates. He had to deal with the Roman people too.
Leading the state would have required a lot of persuasion and arguments of all kinds: Do this. Don’t do that. Listen. Try this. Stop that. He believed that patience was given to us for a reason. The truth is that the world is always changing, so we have to exercise some patience. No matter what you do, people may speak badly of you.
In those situations, you have to exercise tolerance. There will be people in the world that will try to use your tolerance and patience, but in those instances, you will have to remain in control and positive. You can do this by maintaining control of your reactions to these people.
Patience is one of the most important character traits that people need. Patient people experience reduced stress levels and a boost in overall happiness. Many patient people are also healthier. Practicing patience will allow you to reduce your anger so you can face any tough situation you can face calmly.
You were given patience for a reason. You were given your persuasion skills for a reason too. Use the latter if you can, and if it doesn’t work, use the former. Most importantly use them both.
8. Maintain Social Relationships
"Men exist for the sake of one another. Teach them then or bear with them."
In the 8th book, the emperor contends that being detached from society is akin to severing a body part, and that remaining joined to other people and nature is vital in life.
The truth is we are all social beings and It’s in our nature to form social relationships. We are each born with a drive to seek, form, maintain, and protect strong social relationships.
To fulfill this need, we seek relationships with those at work, at school, in our communities, and religious organizations, on sports teams, in online communities, and in other social contexts.
These relationships help us feel we are not alone, because we belong to a social community and being deprived of social relationships can be physically and psychologically devastating.
- Once you develop a social circle, make an effort to maintain contact with them for three months. You can meet these people anywhere, such as at church, a leisure course, a support group, or a recreational sports organization.
- Introduce yourself to as many people you meet in these settings as possible. Keep in touch, and meet up a few times over the course of three months, and if by then you find that there isn’t a connection, start over and build a new circle elsewhere.
9. Be Genuine, Modest, and Truthful
"Epithets for yourself: Upright. Modest. Straightforward. Sane. Cooperative. Try not to exchange for others."
From book 9, 10 and 11 of the Meditations, states that we should be genuine, modest, serene, and truthful.
Genuineness means being authentic with yourself as well as with other people. Genuineness comes from within. Every action you carry out or word you say should carry the same meaning as what it is that you are doing or saying. You cannot call yourself genuine if you tell someone that you love monsoons when you actually don’t.
If you show your honest thoughts and emotions to others, this exhibits genuineness. If you ever find yourself in a scenario in which you must show your thoughts or give praise, but you feel like you need to be dishonest about it, a simple answer for this is to just be honest.
We generally tell white lies to avoid offending someone as an act of kindness, and usually don’t see them as very substantial. But this can impact how you feel about yourself as well.
The longer a small lie continues, regardless of if you said it to be polite or not, will actually cause damage to your emotions. To avoid this, it is important to practice always being truthful with people, even if you think they may not want to hear it.
10. Accept and Appreciate Yourself
"I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others."
The last book of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations concentrates on why we appreciate ourselves the most, but also usually place others’ thoughts about us at a higher status than our own.
He says that the fate of every single person on earth, no matter how good or bad, is the same: all of our lives will one day come to an end. Hence it’s very important that we accept and appreciate ourselves. This may seem relatively easy, but there are actually a variety of factors that decide whether or not we truly accept ourselves.
These factors include how we think of ourselves in regards to who we are inherently as people, as well as how others think of us. But ultimately it’s up to you to decide who you are on the inside. If you can’t look at yourself with satisfaction, then you haven’t achieved self-appreciation.
The first thing you can do to work towards this is to increase your self-confidence. If you have a low self-esteem, and a low opinion about yourself, you are more likely to allow others to degrade you. The most important step in coming to appreciate yourself is to recognize your own value.