Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
Getting to Yes is based on the work of the Harvard Negotiation Project, a group that deals with all levels of negotiation and conflict resolution.
A proven, step-by-step strategy for coming to mutually acceptable agreements in every sort of conflict. Straight-forward, universally applicable method for negotiating personal and professional disputes without getting angry—or getting taken.
Key Takeaways
Standard strategies for negation often leave people dissatisfied, worn out or alienated, and frequently, all three.
In order to avoid long, and bitter negotiations, and preserve the relationships between you and the people you negotiate with, it’s imperative that you learn and practice a set of negotiating principles.
To Avoid Long and Bitter Negotiations, Rely on Three Negotiation Principles:
1. Try on their point of view your goal at the start of every negotiation is to transform the negotiation from a heated face-to-face battle, to a side-by-side activity where both parties work together to solve the problem and create a win-win solution.
- When people feel involved in the creation of a solution, they’re more likely to accept that solution.
- This is hard because the people you negotiate with have Egos that are easily threatened. They see the world from their own vantage point, and frequently confuse their perceptions with reality.
- If you can take time to understand the contrasting points of view in a negotiation, the person you’re negotiating with will be less angry, offended and hostile, and the more likely to join you in a side-by-side effort to create a mutual beneficial agreement.
- Before you enter a negotiation, try on their point of view.
- Take time and go for a walk in the other person’s shoes by imagining how they may have arrived at their current position and why they might be feeling pressure to hold their position.
- Once you have an understanding of their perspective say, “Let me see if I can summarize your position. You want A because of B…”
- If you try to explain the other person’s position in a way that satisfies them, you’ll either notice that what they want is more reasonable and fair than you first thought or as you explain it, they start to see that it doesn’t make as much sense as they first thought.
- Hearing their position relayed back to them will be like hearing a first draft. With some back-and-forth clarification, the two of you will reach a point where you are more inclined to work together to resolve any confusion and find a mutually beneficial solution rather than cling to original positions.
2. Invent Win-Win Agreements A difference in perspective is a source of conflict, but it’s also the source of many win-win agreements. A satisfactory agreement is made possible because each side wants different things. By leveraging the differences in perspective, both parties can reach an agreement they will be satisfied with.
- To find an opportunity to create a win-win agreement, focus on how your interests, values, and beliefs differ from the person you’re negotiating with.
3. Insist on Using Objective Criteria if you can’t reach a mutually beneficial agreement, act like a judge and insist on using objective criteria to decide your case.
- Get into the habit of asking, what’s your basis or how did you arrive at that figure?
- By insisting on using objective criteria to decide a negotiation, you let the other party know that they can’t win simply by pressuring you, and the only way you’ll reach an agreement is by agreeing on a standard with which you can settle the dispute.
- How would a court decide this?
- Research: professional standards, Existing precedent, cultural norms, fair market value, potential arbitrators (3rd part expert)
