Learn How to Conquer Your Constant Worrying and Stressing With Time Tested Methods
Video Summary by Productivity Game
Key Takeaways
Worry is a complete waste of time. No problem has ever been solved by worrying about it.
Problems are solved with rational thought and decisive action, not worry.
"Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but never gets you anywhere."
There are many remedies to stop worrying and start living more productively, but there are three worried remedies that Carnegie found to be particularly effective.
The first worry remedy will eliminate 90% of your worry, the second worry remedy will eliminate the remaining 10%, in the third worry remedy will prevent worry from creeping back into your life.
"Today is our most precious day. It is our only sure possession."
The Three Worry Remedies
Technique 1: Analyze Your Worry
In 1942 American Galen Litchfield was managing an Asian insurance company in Shanghai, when a Japanese Admiral walked into his office and demanded at gunpoint that he liquidate the company’s assets and deliver them to the Japanese Empire who had recently invaded China.
Litchfield did what he was told. He liquidated all the company’s assets, except for a $750,000 block of securities that belonged to his company’s Hong Kong branch. Days later, the Japanese Admiral discovered what Litchfield had done.
When Litchfield got word of this, he was paralyzed with fear. He defied the Japanese army and assumed he’d be thrown into the bridge house—a torture chamber—of the Jap Gestapo that very few let to talk about.
But then Litchfield collected himself and did what he’d always done when worried. He went to his typewriter and wrote out two questions:
What am I worried about? I am afraid I will be thrown into the bridge’ house tomorrow morning.
Then he spent the next few hours thinking and writing down different courses of action he could take.
What can I do about it?
1. Option One I could explain the situation to the Admiral but since the Admiral didn’t speak English he’d probably get frustrated talked into a translator and throw me in the bridge house anyways
2. Option Two I could run away, but there’s a good chance they track me down and lock me in the bridge house.
3. Option Three I could stay home for a while and hope the Admiral would forget what happened, but odds are he’d get suspicious about my absence and tracked me down.
4. Option Four I could go into the office tomorrow morning and act like nothing has happened and hope the Admiral has bigger things to worry about.
After writing down his worry and various courses of action, he could look at the page and objectively analyze his options and more easily decide what to do next.
In the book, Litchfield says,
"Experience has proved to me that 50% of my worries vanished once I arrived at a clear definite decision and another 40% usually vanishes once I start to carry out that decision."
Realizing that his fourth option had the highest probability of a positive outcome, he committed to that option and crossed out all other courses of action.
The next morning Litchfield entered the office and acted as though nothing had happened.
The Admiral glared at him like he’d always had, but said nothing. Six weeks later the Admiral went back to Tokyo and Litchfield never saw him again.
Next time you’re worried about something grab a pen and paper and write down two questions.
1. What am I worried about?
2. What can I do about it?
- After describing your worry in precise detail, write at least three courses of action you can take, then decide which course of action has the highest probability of a positive result.
- If the decision is too difficult, proceed with any good option for five minutes and stop worrying.
- If after five minutes the decision still feels right, continue.
- If not, act on your next best option.
- The more action you take the more your worry will fade away.
Technique 2: Accept the Worst and Improve Upon It
To eliminate the remaining 10% of your worry, emulate Willis Carrier.
Willis invented the first electric air conditioning unit and spent over 20 years building the Carrier Corporation, but early in his career he worked as an engineer installing equipment at gas plants.
When one project started to go horribly wrong, Carrier was consumed with worry. He feared losing his job and damaging his reputation.
So how did he overcome this worry?
He imagined the day after the project had failed and his reputation had been damaged and he was unemployed. The carrier was still alive and he knew if he worked hard he could find a new job and get back on his feet.
By learning to live with the worst case scenario his worry dissipated.
Free from the burden of worry, he could think clearly again which allowed him to see that adding additional equipment to the project might achieve the result the client wanted.
After implementing his new solution, the project worked and his company went from potentially losing twenty thousand dollars to making fifteen thousand dollars, which was a small fortune in 1899.
Willis Carrier says that one of the worst features about worrying is that it destroys our ability to concentrate. When we worry, our mind jumps here and there and everywhere and we lose all power of decision.
However when we force ourselves to face the worst and accept it, mentally we then eliminate all those vague imaginings and put ourselves in position in which we are able to concentrate on our problem.
In the book Carnegie says accepting the worst yanks us out of the great gray clouds in which we fumble around when we are blind by worry and it plants our feet good and solid on the earth.
- A simple way to experience the power of accepting the worst is to create a list of tasks you need to do today.
- After making a list of urgent and important tasks step back and accept that at the end of the day nothing on that list got done.
- Then after you’ve accepted that bitter reality, ask yourself how can I improve upon this horrible day?
- Now any task you complete will feel like a bonus. Suddenly a list you were worried about becomes a list of opportunities.
When you take time to analyze your worry and then accept the worst and improve upon it, there’s a good chance you’ll eliminate your worry.
Technique 3: Live in Day Tight Compartments
To prevent worry from creeping back into your life, live in day tight compartments.
In the early 1900’s large ocean vessels were designed so that if one part flooded, it could be sealed off by watertight iron doors, which would prevent the ship from sinking.
This analogy can apply to your life.
You can act like the captain of a huge ship who has the ability to press a button and shut the iron doors on today’s compartment, preventing the fears of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow from flooding into your mind.
To activate your iron doors, do two things:
1. Wake up every morning and imagine you’re living a new life.
Imagine your old self had died last night and your worries and regrets died with them and this morning is the first day of the rest of your life.
2. Tell yourself: If I take care of today, tomorrow will take care of itself.
In the book Dale Carnegie says the best possible way to prepare for tomorrow, is to concentrate with all your intelligence, all your enthusiasm, on doing today’s work superbly today. That is the only possible way you can prepare for the future.
During World War II, U.S. Navy admiral Ernest King famously said,
"I have supplied the best men, with the best equipment. We have and have given them what seems to be the wisest mission. That is all I can do."
The Admiral slept soundly every night because he knew he did everything in his power that day to make tomorrow successful.
If you want to stop worrying and start living:
1. Eliminate 90% of your worry by writing down your worry in precise detail and then writing at least three courses of action you can take then make a decision and take action.
2. Eliminate any remaining worry by accepting the worst and asking yourself: how can I improve upon the worst?
3. Then to prevent any new worries from creeping back into your life, practice living in day tight compartments by imagining each day is a new life and telling yourself if I do my best to take care of today tomorrow will take care of itself.
Video Summary by One Percent Better
Key Takeaways
Lesson 1: The Law Of Averages
Whether you’re scared of getting eaten by a shark, house burning down, or dying in your sleep- by the law of averages there is an incredibly low chance of these events ever happening during your lifetime.
Lesson 2: Don't Expect Gratitude
It’s human nature for people to forget gratitude. Expecting people to appreciate you 100% of the time will lead you to disappointment and resentment.
Gratitude can be taught to people when they’re children, however not everyone is taught to appreciate others.
If you give for the inner joy of giving and expect no gratitude in return, you will live a healthier and happier life.
"I am going to meet people today, who talk too much, people who are egotistical, selfish and ungrateful. But I won't be surprised or disturbed, for I couldn't imagine a world without such people."
Lesson 3: Don't Get Even With Your Enemies
When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health and our happiness.
Our hate is not hurting them at all, it’s only hurting ourselves. There are much more productive ways to spend your time and energy.
"Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot, that it do singe yourself."
Lesson 4: Unjust Criticisms Are Compliments In Disguise
Empty criticisms are a reflection of people themselves. They are criticizing you because you have achieved something great that they haven’t. These are really just compliments in disguise.
Video Summary by FightMediocrity
Cultivating ways to stop worrying and stressing will make your life 100x better. You can actually start having time to enjoy life. You won’t be constantly miserable, and you won’t be destroying your health and making yourself constantly sick.
Big Idea 1: What's the worst thing that can happen?
The brain can freak out with uncertainty. If you don’t clearly define the worst thing, your brain will find a way to equate whatever it is to simply ruining your life.
In reality, the worst thing is never really that bad.
Always ask yourself, what’s the worst thing that can happen? Clearly define the worst outcome, and you’ll soon start to realize how ridiculous most of your worries are.
Big Idea 2: The Absurdity of It All
If you’re worried about stupid shit all the time, you have a disease. So you either treat yourself or never ask about how you can stop worrying again.
Realize about the absurdity of it all.
Most of the stuff people worry about is completely meaningless.
Big Idea 3: Staying Busy
Stay busy doing things you enjoy doing, being productive, working on your well-being. i.e. go to the gym, read a book, learn an instrument, cook amazing food, work on a project your passionate about.
When you do this, you brain can’t think of two things at on time. It just doesn’t have that capability.
The best way to get rid of the negative thoughts in your head is to actually start putting positive thoughts in there.
Get busy with what you love and your brain simply won’t even have the ability to worry.
Big Idea 4: Would You Sell Your Legs For A Million Dollars?
Here’s what a lot of people do with their life.
They go to work, and worry their entire life so they can gather a bunch of stuff like a house and all the pointless things in it.
If you’re lucky, after 50 years of all that worry and stress, you could be worth $1 million dollars.
Would you sell your legs for a billion dollars? What about your arms? No? You already have something valued at $2 billion dollars.
You’re too busy worrying and stressing about the things that might amount to $1 million dollars at the end of your life.
You already have everything that you value at billions and billions of dollars.